commitment
When everybody in your life who are supposed to love you don't, you begin to question everything including yourself. Why?

I won awards from the International Poetry Society for the piece of writing below. This is the first time I am claiming my name to it. It is in books that I do not own, read on cd's I have never heard and posted on plaque's I have never seen. Rape, Abuse, Molestation, Theft, Betrayl...it seems to be never ending in my life. Finally I am beginning to trust myself, and in doing so I have built up the courage to share my writing with you.

Each day slips by ruined by every breath I take into my body, full of venom and poison. The flaming fire I douse my internal self in, only to warm the cold heart I have learned to possess, instead replaces the frozen organs with hallucinations of contentment. The words I speak infiltrate the bodies of my peers with frost and evil, meant only to penetrate their peaceful hearts and overwhelm their blood with hate and anger. Silly them, to believe that my false sense of pleasure could be passed onto them, that my lies are truth and that my heart is pure. Little do they know, I am unable of encompassing feelings and that for me to care for them is an unattainable feat. Success creates an overpowering sense of satisfaction, a feeling blocked out by the ice coating my soul and only warmed by the sinful escape I choose to take each day. Yet no support can save this body anymore it has become toxic and soon fatal, only meant to destroy the virtue in others and taint their bliss.

What do people truly fear? Death and emotion. Death is far away but emotion is current. I am hoping that this site will become an area where people can anonomously share their feelings, concerns, questions or stories. We are a society together, and those who have been hurt can support one another.

If you would like to write in this blog please email me with your name or alias at Jet26@email.arizona.edu

I want this to be a safe area for people to talk. There are days when I don't want to be around anybody, but deep inside I want someone to tell me it will be okay.

thanks,
sadie